More about the Middle…

I haven’t written about my life’s story in quite awhile but I recently had a request to continue it. I am not sure exactly why I stopped…see I still try contact my parents to no avail and I think I just figured there was no point.

I believe I was going to share with when they kicked me out. If you havent read The Beginning and Somewhere in the Middle, you want to so you are up to date.

When I was 17 I was going to a private school, I worked part time after school and on the weekends, and I worked around the home. I tried to stay busy so I had little contact with my parents and was gone as much as possible.

I was dating an African American guy I worked with and I knew my parents were against it so I kept him secret and planned on telling my parents once I graduated high school. I had planned a whole conversation to sit down and have with them like any adult would. The plan after graduation was to move into a condo my dad had bought me in Greensboro. We had thousands of dollars worth of bathroom linens, bedroom linens, home necessities like kitchen things, a vacuum. Necessary things. I would live there and they were going to pay half of my college. My dad demanded to have a key to it and said if I stayed home they would pay my college tuition in full. But I wanted out so bad and all he wanted was control.

About 2 weeks before my 18th birthday I went and (yes illegally) go my first tattoo. I know it was not a smart decision. I had a guy do it out of his home. Stupid stupid STUPID! I was young and not thinking about this clearly

A week after that I came home from school and was cooking lunch (senior year, I got out of school about 1) and on the computer in the den. It was weird my parents came home, they usually came home pretty late. I didnt think much about it and said hey and kept doing what I was doing. I must have been doing something for school because I rarely gt on the computer with them in the room. I had Facebook which they didnt approve of and the AIM chat (old right?) which they probably had no idea existed. Look I didnt have text on my phone okay so I would get on my laptop late at night when they were in bed and “text” from Aim 🙂

Okay so I was on the computer and they came in. My dad went into the kitchen which was connected to the den and had a bar so it was basically open to the den. My mom walked over to me and asked me ” Will you pull up Facebook?” Im thinking, who are they looking up on Facebook? They werent internet savy. But I pulled it up and she asked me to type in my name. Whatever, what was I going to do? I did it and up came my profile with my little profile picture of me and my secret boyfriend. Ugh. Here we go….She asked who that was and I told her. My parents knew I had boyfriends. I had actually had a long relationship before this guy in the picture and they had met him, his parents, it wasnt the fact that I had a boyfriend….it was the fact that he was not white. Typical hypocritical Christians. No offense, I am Christian but I sin and I am not judgmental to the color of someones skin but to their actions.

So she asked is he your boyfriend and i said yes. Dad then said someone just called them on their cell (okay they are very…private? They NEVER gave out their cell. My school had their cell, I did and my grandparents did. Literally that was all!) and said I was dating that guy, I had gotten a tattoo, all this stuff and my parents lost it. At this point I felt like I was in a dream…They requested, bear with me, my cell phone, my credit card, my keys and my jewelry. They told me to pack what I could carry and leave.

I called my boyfriend and asked him to come get me. He worked up the street a little ways so it did not take him very long. Meanwhile I was stuffing clothes and toiletries in garbage bags while my dad was yelling and talking stupid stuff I dont even remember. I was dazed and not coherent to anything except getting out of there fast.

I remember my mom had my grandmother on the phone and she was crying. My grandma made it seem as if I had a choice and I was choosing to leave. That was not in anyway the case. My parents TOLD me to leave.

My boyfriend at the time came and he helped get everything in the car and we left. That was it. There was no goodbye, no hugs or tears. I was numb and did not want them to see me hurt and they were…cold.

My boyfriend took me to his sisters and stayed with me so he could take me to school in the morning. Obviously I still had like 4 months of school left…and to pay for -_-

I remember crying all that night. You know how sometimes you cry so much it makes you sick? Like literally sick? If you’ve never gotten to that point then I truly envy you because it is the most gut wrenching type of heartbreak you will ever feel.

Guys, there is so much that happened that I just cannot even type. I will continue this in a separate post to end it and discuss how things were after I left and how they are now. Thanks for reading my fellow Pressers!

🙂 🙂 🙂

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